What is an American? An American is a mixture. Let me explain using the universal language, FOOD. Take a bunch of meals from their various containers. Ship them across the globe and throw them into one common bowl. Stir it. Mix it. Bake it. Mark it with a B. Pull it out of the oven and what do you have? Glop. THAT’s what an American is. Glop.
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Blog: Am I an American? Because if I am I feel insulted by your rudeness.
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If your family’s been here for more than one generation, you’re a mixture. I’m Portuguese, Norwegian, Swedish, German, English, etc, etc, etc. How do I pick which country to be loyal to? AMERICA. Because it’s where I choose to live and the country I pick for citizenship.
Here’s my problem. I’m sick and tired of people who are American citizens trying to pretend they’re not American. Rather than come out and say it, I figured I’d soften the blow a little by using Germany as an example.
Can I live in Germany and be an American? YES. If I ever get confused, I just look at my passport. Oh, yeah. I’m an American. If I apply for German citizenship and for some unknown reason they accept me, I become a German. Should I learn to speak German? YES. HELLO! I’m a freaking German. I should know my own language. Or should I get all my American buddies to move to Germany with me, get citizenship, and go around converting everything to English? Then we could be American-Germans. We’d have American Awareness Month and the Germans would be pissed because in our neighborhood all the billboards would be in English. Does it sound ridiculous? Yes, it does. You would probably wonder why, if I love America so much, I live in Germany.
Here’s my problem. I’m sick and tired of people who are American citizens trying to pretend they’re not American. Rather than come out and say it, I figured I’d soften the blow a little by using Germany as an example.
Can I live in Germany and be an American? YES. If I ever get confused, I just look at my passport. Oh, yeah. I’m an American. If I apply for German citizenship and for some unknown reason they accept me, I become a German. Should I learn to speak German? YES. HELLO! I’m a freaking German. I should know my own language. Or should I get all my American buddies to move to Germany with me, get citizenship, and go around converting everything to English? Then we could be American-Germans. We’d have American Awareness Month and the Germans would be pissed because in our neighborhood all the billboards would be in English. Does it sound ridiculous? Yes, it does. You would probably wonder why, if I love America so much, I live in Germany.
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Blog: Ouch. Careful, buddy. You're coming across as kind of racist.
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I hope you don’t misunderstand me. I’m not racist. I have a color TV. But seriously, yes your ancestors had a sucky time. So did mine. So did everyone else’s. Some were slaves, some were Jews, some wanted religious freedom. Even Abel was persecuted to death by Cain. Life sucks. Move on.
You’re a person. You have value. I love you the way you are. I don’t care what color you are or where your ancestors were from. Unless you’re a jerk. Then we can’t be friends. But what I was trying to get at is we’re all essentially the same. Our personalities are probably more different than our genetic make-up.
The good (and the bad) thing is that in America, you make your bed. You lie in it. Don’t give me all that crap about how you don’t have any money, or you were born on the purple side of the tracks, or your Mommy loves Pringles more than she loves you. Lesser people than you have accomplished much greater things. You have just as much opportunity as the next person. Quit looking for a handout and step up to the plate. All they did different was work for it. I’m not an idiot. I realize that some people have to work harder than others. But everyone has the same opportunity. That’s what being an American is all about.
The upside is that you don’t HAVE to live here. It’s a free country. You’re free to leave at any time. But if you’re going to live here and be a freaking citizen, lose the damn identity crises. You’re an American. Deal with it. Wear it with pride. Or go somewhere else and be an Asian-European, or an Ethiopian-Australian, or a General-Tso’s-Macaroni.
Somebody should fix that.
You’re a person. You have value. I love you the way you are. I don’t care what color you are or where your ancestors were from. Unless you’re a jerk. Then we can’t be friends. But what I was trying to get at is we’re all essentially the same. Our personalities are probably more different than our genetic make-up.
The good (and the bad) thing is that in America, you make your bed. You lie in it. Don’t give me all that crap about how you don’t have any money, or you were born on the purple side of the tracks, or your Mommy loves Pringles more than she loves you. Lesser people than you have accomplished much greater things. You have just as much opportunity as the next person. Quit looking for a handout and step up to the plate. All they did different was work for it. I’m not an idiot. I realize that some people have to work harder than others. But everyone has the same opportunity. That’s what being an American is all about.
The upside is that you don’t HAVE to live here. It’s a free country. You’re free to leave at any time. But if you’re going to live here and be a freaking citizen, lose the damn identity crises. You’re an American. Deal with it. Wear it with pride. Or go somewhere else and be an Asian-European, or an Ethiopian-Australian, or a General-Tso’s-Macaroni.
Somebody should fix that.
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