Wednesday, February 11, 2009

13 - Where's the Love?

I don’t know the history of Valentine’s Day, or anything about St. Valentine. Nor do I care right now. What I do know, is that Saint or no Saint, Person Valentine would roll over in his/her grave if they had an inkling as to what their day had become.

Before you get all up in my face about how I have no sense of romance or bah-humbug, or whatever, let me tell you something. Shut up. I’m a very romantic and passionate person, and I love the idea of Valentine’s Day. At least I love the idea of what it used to be before communism reared it’s ugly head in America.


Blog: You can't tell, but I'm rolling my eyes.

It all started a few days ago when I was asked to get Valentine’s Day cards for my kids to take to class. I said, “No problem!” Of course, that was before I took two seconds to think about it.


My four-year-old needed 16 cards for her class. My six-year-old needed 27 for his. Fortunately my nine-year-old’s teacher isn’t a retard and she opted to stop the madness this year by saying NO to the fifty million cards.

When I was a kid in grade school, we spent the week before Valentine’s Day making special cards for each person in our class and sneaking them into their little decorated boxes or folders at their desk. It was fun and exciting. If you got a bunch of cards, you knew you were a pretty good friend - and/or sexy. If you didn’t, you knew you sucked and would need to crank it up a notch for next year.




But not today. No. Today our kids BUY cards - Pokemon, Tinkerbell or Kung-fu Panda cards - 32 to a box. They come with stickers or tattoos. Or pencils. Or lollipops. Or a Ferrari. Just kidding. If they came with a Ferrari, I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I’d be driving my Ferrari.

Blog: You were saying?

Oh, yeah. These stupid pre-made cards. You (theoretically with your child’s help) tear apart the cards, fold them, insert the “goodie”, seal the card shut with a sticker, and then have the child write their name in the FROM spot. BUT BEWARE!!! DO NOT write anything in the TO spot…


And this is where I start getting upset. Each child in the class has a bag or some type of container for loot. In the interest of fairness (I’m already barfing), each child gets one card from every student in the class. But it’s not personalized. Your child is required to give a card to everyone. Even if they’re an asshole. They still get a bag full of free stuff. No meaning. No love. Even if they don’t deserve it.

As I was writing this post and venting to a friend of mine, she said her four-year-old son was required to bring 80 (EIGHTY!!) cards so everyone in the whole program would get one from everyone else, whether they knew that person or not. Did her son sign eighty cards? Hell no! His Dad ended up doing it for him. So basically, eighty parents are sending out cards to the children of 80 other parents who they probably haven’t even met. Hey Teacher, Karl Marx called. He wants his insanity back.

Blog: That’s a rude and unfair comparison.

Whatever. There is absolutely no meaning to this ridiculous Valentine’s charade. Everybody gets one? Let’s keep if fair? It’s bullcrap and you know it.

No wonder our children are growing up with the Welfare Mentality. You get stuff for free! Not only that, it’s Valentine’s Day, so you DESERVE it! Go ahead and be a jerk all year. You’ll still get a bag full of tattoos and lollipops next year!

It pisses me off. Love and friendship is special. It takes work and commitment and responsibility. This celebration is a farce. The meaning is gone.

I almost required my kids to hand-make each card from scratch. I figured it would add value to the experience. Then I realized, all the kids who receive the hand-made cards are going to be upset because they didn’t get one more sticker they could throw away later.

Either bring the love back to Valentine’s Day, or quit doing it all together.

Somebody should fix that.