8 - The "Fast" Lane

Dear Mr. Driving-Slow-in-the-Fast-Lane Driver. This is a special note just for you. Yes, you. You know who you are. Or maybe you don't. You will in a minute.

Did you go to Driver's Ed.? No you didn’t, Liar. Because what the hell are you doing in the fast lane? I'm hauling logs, jamming right up into your tail, and you're oblivious.

Blog: Maybe they can’t see you because their eyes are on the road.

Take a look ahead of you. Now, glance up and to the right a little. See that rectangular thing with the black frame and shiny surface? That's called a rear-view mirror. Use it! What the hell! I'm flashing my brights at you. Not because I'm better than you. Not because I want to pick a fight. Not because you have a flat tire. It's because your slow ass is hindering my progress and I want you to SHOVE OFF. There are two perfectly good, empty and relaxing lanes to your right. Use THEM!

Blog: Maybe they WANT to be late to the fire.




I don't mind that you want to go 47 mph. Please! By all means, go 47 mph to your hearts content. But do it in the freaking Slow Lane. See? It has a name for you and everything. You're enjoying the journey. You don't care when you get there. Go ahead. Stop and smell the roses. But do it on your own dang time and somewhere far, far away from MY fast lane.

Blog: Maybe you should stop speeding.

I don't need to go 90 mph. I just want to put my shoes on, my blues on and get my cruise on. Every time I have to tap the brake to disengage my cruise control brings me one step closer to the edge, and I'm about to break. Please save me, and yourself, from an ugly confrontation. MOVE OVER. SIT. STAY. Enjoy your slower pace and live life to it's fullest - over THERE. To the far RIGHT. And get the hell out of my way.

Somebody should fix that.