I've noticed an epidemic. Everywhere you look, people are having text. It's cool. I'm hip. I've even had text before. But give me a break. What ever happened to The Conversation?
Text is a sensitive topic. Like everything else, there is a time and place for text. When you and I are hanging out for an hour and you spend half that hour having text with someone else, there's a problem. It would be less rude to call the person, spend one minute having a conversation and then focus your undivided attention back on ME.
On the other hand, I can see many legitimate reasons for having text. If I'm in a meeting and you need to get a message to or from me, text is a great solution. Maybe you're in class, just sending a quick FYI or note. Or you don't have a mouth. All good reasons for textual relations.
Blog: You're my BFF.
Okay psycho. I wasn't even talking to you. And what the hell is a BFF? I thought I told you before, I don't speak acronym.
Blog: My bad, Homie. Chill. It's all good. Piece.
Now you're scaring me. Let's move on because this is important. I've developed a list of definitions to help us all be better people, loving our neighbors as ourselves. I believe with a better understanding and awareness of text, we will be able to maintain good, healthy textual relations without sacrificing interpersonal communication as a whole.
Textual Definitions
Text is a sensitive topic. Like everything else, there is a time and place for text. When you and I are hanging out for an hour and you spend half that hour having text with someone else, there's a problem. It would be less rude to call the person, spend one minute having a conversation and then focus your undivided attention back on ME.
On the other hand, I can see many legitimate reasons for having text. If I'm in a meeting and you need to get a message to or from me, text is a great solution. Maybe you're in class, just sending a quick FYI or note. Or you don't have a mouth. All good reasons for textual relations.
Blog: You're my BFF.
Okay psycho. I wasn't even talking to you. And what the hell is a BFF? I thought I told you before, I don't speak acronym.
Blog: My bad, Homie. Chill. It's all good. Piece.
Now you're scaring me. Let's move on because this is important. I've developed a list of definitions to help us all be better people, loving our neighbors as ourselves. I believe with a better understanding and awareness of text, we will be able to maintain good, healthy textual relations without sacrificing interpersonal communication as a whole.
Textual Definitions
- Textual Conduct - The behavior exhibited while having text.
- Safe Text - Be smart. Be appropriate. For example, don't text while driving. We need you focused on the task at hand.
- Text Offenders - These are people who text at inappropriate times, like during a conversation with you. To fix it, squeeze your eyes shut, scream "Blueberries!" at the top of your lungs and box your ears until they stop.
- Textual Assault - Overload! You haven't even had a chance to answer the last text and you already have 3 more.
- Oral Text - The act of SPEAKING words.
- Text Goddess - She can text faster than she can type.
- Text Machine - The doo-hicky you're using to text with.
- Textual Harassment - They keep texting you even after you call them and ask them nicely to "Knock that crap off!"
- Pre-contractual Text - Having text before you even have a cell phone. Not sure how that works. Pencil and paper text?
- Textual Relations - Engaging in text with someone.
- Textual Tension - The electricity between two people who really want to have text with each other but know they can't because it's not the time or place.
I propose we have text messages, not textual conversations. Wouldn't our world be a much happier place if we all engaged in more Oral Text? I think so.
Somebody should fix that.
Blog: Wait a minute . . . that sounds a lot like something else.
2 comments:
I had to invoke a "textual restaining order" to prevent having to pay for all "nonconsentual text" being forced upon me!
BRILLIANT! wtg (way to go...)
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