Do I look like Santa Claus? No. Then why should I jingle all the way?
A few days ago I stopped at a fast food restaurant. I knew going in that you get good food or good value, not both. All I got was pissed. I frugally selected the 97 cent yucktastic cheese booger. After paying tax, rent and the milkshake fund, my total came to one oh three. Nestled in my left pocket were several neatly pressed, fresh and crispy dollar bills. Spooning in my right pocket were my keys and a whole bunch of nothing else. The way I like it.
All I needed was three stupid pennies. But no. I was forced to sacrifice one of my thin, quiet bills in return for 97 cents worth of Here I Am Look At Me!
I don't mind spending the extra money, I mind the geyser of nearly useless metal in my pocket waiting to erupt all over my car seat and trickle down into my socks. Recently I've just been telling people to "keep the change". Have you seen someone at the exact moment when the lights go out? Tell them to keep the change. It's actually kind of funny. Their eyes glaze over and they start mumbling and drooling. DOES NOT COMPUTE. That's 97 cents worth of entertainment right there. Money well spent in my book.
In the scheme of things, does a penny really make a difference? They take up space. They use up all the batteries in my change sorter machine. I always run out of penny wrappers first. You have to find 25 of them just to buy a gumball. Pennies are like mosquitoes. Except they don't have wings. Or buzz. Or suck my blood. Or make me itch. Ok. I guess they're not totally like mosquitoes. But they're annoying and they bug the hell out of me. Does anybody make penny repellent? Because I'll buy some.
Blog: You seem to do a lot of complaining without offering any solutions.
Ok mister smarty pants. I'm not totally unreasonable. I propose a compromise. Let's get rid of all the stupid pennies, nickels and dimes. From now on we round to the nearest quarter. I would way rather pay an extra 25 cents to not have reindeer chase me. Seriously. You're going to give me 97 cents?? Save the time it takes counting out 97 cents in change, and just give me the frickin dollar. I've got your back next time when the total is $1.13.
Ok mister smarty pants. I'm not totally unreasonable. I propose a compromise. Let's get rid of all the stupid pennies, nickels and dimes. From now on we round to the nearest quarter. I would way rather pay an extra 25 cents to not have reindeer chase me. Seriously. You're going to give me 97 cents?? Save the time it takes counting out 97 cents in change, and just give me the frickin dollar. I've got your back next time when the total is $1.13.
Somebody should fix that.
4 comments:
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in australia, they don't have pennies. only 5 cent, 10 cent, 20 cent, dollar, and two dollar coins.
they have one extra coin we don't, but it felt like less change because you don't get four pennies at a time.
what good are pennies anyway? doesn't it take more money to produce a penny than one cent? i bet we're actually losing money on pennies.
my vote - keep coinage, lose the copper.
I've got drawers full of pennies. They're sitting next to my toothpaste, at the bottom of my sock drawer, the lint catcher in the dryer and the underside of my drivers seat. If God had sent an 11th plague on Egypt...it would have been pennies!
GREAT POST!!!!
Or, U can jest pay with you're ATM card like the rest of us.
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